18 Apr 2009 @ 10:37 AM 

For just a second I was sure Linden got it. Then I clicked on this:

awardsxxx

As you may be aware, most of us use “xxx” in the proper way (hard core baby), but others…well, it’s there for a variable (look it up, see %1, etc). Most of them have the common sense to only use one” “x”, but let’s not quibble here. Lady is trying to say is there a category you wanted?

YES!!

Linden can exile it to an island, can mandate we all be clearly adult avatars, and even pass out those cute WWJD bracelets, but it’s a big part of SL (higher than anyone will be honest about) and they need some awards too.

How about an accomplishment like the genius who went beyond the SL appearance settings on breasts? I mean like moon here. That shit merits an award. I don’t think we should do the same for males because I was sort of traumatized by a penis box.

No, not like it ass raped me. Like I opened it and found it full of dog members, horse members, even a cat member. A cat member? Come on. I’ve just not been the same since.

I would say call it “THE PORNIES” but that is taken so I’m going to have to do some research.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 18 Apr 2009 @ 10 41 AM

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 18 Apr 2009 @ 1:27 AM 

I think the world of Hamlet over at NWN, but he owes me 9.98 for the bottle of vodka he just made me vomit (and 2.40 for OJ) with this combination of words that requires he (at the least) burn his keyboard:

“…was just named favorite blogger in the Lindens’ first Resident Choice Awards. How’d he earn that distinction? Well, this customized keyboard and this hacked Linden email account might have had something to do with it. I suspect sex appeal as a factor too, since he’s among the top ten hottest male avatars of last year….”

Hamey is of course speaking of the reason I have changed my mind about this whole democracy thing since you people can’t be trusted to vote for shit.   Before you get all teary and fire off an email, look at this list of bad judgment called the Second Life Resident Choice Awards.

I am willing to consider only the chronically lame cast a vote given the results, but until I have proof,  you are no longer allowed out after 10pm or allowed to cross the street without an adult holding your hand.

I’m not going to bother looking for the post since the only person who hates reading this hack blog more than you is me, but I wrote about the “BEST MEMORIAL” winner in the past week being of questionable taste for having parachutes at the top of each damn tower.   And they win?  WTF are you people are on?  I bet on 9/11 a lot of people wished for those bitches so hey - let’s put them there!  Stay classy you idiots.

You know what, I’m going to give you all a pass on this since you are only pissing on the graves of 3000 Americans (oh and those who’s tickets were punched when GWB took that green light and hit the path of asshat warrior).    Why I am being less an asshole tonight?  Because your treason against dead Americans is small compared to this idolization of mindless style over substance.   Perhaps because I’m not a partially attractive or creative person, but all the same.

There are bloggers out there (perhaps not as cute or hip) like Vint (to name just one) but you love a DJ/STAR/BLOGGER whose contributions to the art include such gems as “2nd Etiquette” which ends with the author asking for a guide on the article he just wrote or this one where he…… SHIT SHIT SHIT. Where he is humble and honest and even he agrees he has about as much business getting this as Britney Spears does a parenting award:

“I’ll admit it came as a huge surprise to me, especially considering how many other fantastic bloggers are out there, as well as many who have been around much longer than me.”

Wait,  he said “other” like he was in their class.  Oh hell, on we go to the avatar (and to think I was letting bitch off).

I’m not going to use Hamlet’s snapshot of the “RESIDENT BLOGGER OF THE YEAR” since the quote was about as far as one should go with fair use, but here is what I want you to do.   Go to Google Images and search for “douchebags”.   There you go.

I can see someone wanting to be a dragon or furry, or lots of other shit, but why the hell would you want an avatar that reeks of the rotting Jersey shore?  Not just that, take it a step further by putting your RL picture in your profile and your amazing resume of pretend jobs on your site?   Why?  Is there not a pretend monster.com for doing that?

No, I’m not touching the “hacked” email gag because ya know what?  Shit wasn’t funny.  It was like Chris Crocker screaming “leave Britney alone!” in that I had a giggle and then wondered why that poor girl had a sheet over her head or anyone cared. Those unfunny clueless shits over at AlphavillageidiotsVille make me laugh more.

You can be a blogger or you can be a pop sex stud.  The two are not a combo plate.   As for the rest?  I have no idea because they are the dumbest categories in the world.

Best place to be an EMO?  Let me think.  Oh yeah, away the hell from me and this shocker; Best place to dance <drum roll> Dance Island!!!

Here comes the email. “So who do you think should win?”. I did consider this but my criteria was a problem. If a blog includes mentions of your products or your store - YOU ARE NOT A BLOG. If you have flashing banner ads out the ass - YOU ARE NOT A BLOG. If you only say mean things about other people - YOU ARE NOT A BLOG (that was me for you slow ones).

What that leaves..well. um.. hold on

<23 minutes later>

That leaves some annoying teen who is wasting his time blogging about SL’s teen venture which has fewer people than one SL sex club and this lady who seems to be sincere and has glasses which is a plus (no douche - sunglasses do not count) because I do.

See how it works? You choose a guy who wrote an article that I swear is a “Staurt Smart” parody or Doctor Laura jacked up on Adderall, but bitch wrote this shit stone sober!

So I can choose a blogger who wears glasses. As bad as we both sound it’s worse since mine is able to string together letters into words into paragraphs into a blog while your guy (in his “uncool” article) tries to claim SL is not commercial somehow missing the stores placed evenly across the grid every 3m. He even runs his bio at the bottom of this clueless rant with all his business tiles listed never getting the irony of what a little Katie Couric he is.

To be fair, I’m going to let douche have the last word because it’s funny when someone takes themselves this seriously (sort of like walking around with shit on your nose or something and thinking people are smiling because you are cute) with no basis in reality.     I don’t know who the critic is, but I owe him a hand job.    As for douche, I refer you to Blog  Good Taste Act of 2004 which banned the use of  certain words in blogs:  “Thus, Hence, Per” (among others).  Why?  They make you sound like a douche.

“One of the biggest critics of my blog likes to personally attack me for having the audacity to write about myself. But that’s what the new digital age is about - people are sharing themselves and their ideas and thoughts, which in turn make people think about their own thoughts on the subjects, and hence turn out more ideas, which turn into concepts and productions. If nobody dared to talk, then nothing would ever get done.”
Tags Categories: Hate, Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 18 Apr 2009 @ 10 22 AM

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 17 Apr 2009 @ 8:55 AM 

I don’t know any people from Sweden (with the exception of the chef on the Muppet Show) nor do I know anything about Stockholm other than it’s lent it’s name to a condition idiots get that makes them go all hard for people holding them at gunpoint for the release of their scum comrades who blew people up or are demanding the minting of a commemorative coin for Arafat like the one hawked on late night they keep seeing for Obama.

Stockholm Syndrome? We already have a name for people who point guns at us in the army. Damn, it’s been so long. What was that… Oh yeah. Dead / smoked / hanging out with their 13 virgins in heaven / etc.

You know, I get that stealing is wrong. If I were burning DVDs of “Firehouse Dog” and selling them for profit my ass should be tossed in jail for stealing and I should be raped like a yard bitch daily for selling movies that cause damages to the mental health of others. However, if during the three+ months of the year channel 6 replaces 3 hours of network programing with coverage of a tornado in Kansas that if 452 conditions happen in sequence may well come to my state I take another view. These bitches fill my DVR not with the touching Hallmark special on the man who even without legs, arms, or a body went on to win an Olympic medal, but shit, so no - I don’t feel like a criminal going online to download the same thing I would of seen if I lived somewhere where total asshats weren’t local news weathermen who shouldn’t have the power to interrupt shows unless a tornado is really coming down my street and I am so dumb I miss the sirens, screaming people, flying cows — BUT am sitting in front of my TV waiting for the sage advice that as a resident of tornado alley I might want to consider going down to the basement (which we don’ have a lot in this part of the country for some reason btw so my plan involves a beer and rubbing one more out real quick so I can face my maker relaxed given the explaining I have to do).

It is with a lot of shock that I read a jury in Stockholm just smacked the boys at the Pirate Bay in the face with their collective (and no doubt uncircumcised given those icky Europeans) member. I could see civil punishment (please, sue my ass - I got jack and we can chapter 13 the rest so I can start over) but these twits gave them jail time.

I know. I know. There may not be a lot of ass rape and shankings in prisons over there but that is not the point. I’m not going to take the time to explain torrents to readers who don’t grasp complexities of turning on the advanced menu in SL without emailing me, but in short - THESE GUYS HOSTED NO FILES. They hosted a map of sorts to those with pieces which is let me…see.. oh yeah - let tossing those two high flying douches from Google in jail (which oddly enough I am fine with) because you searched for something on their site and then downloaded it from a third party.

Therefore, I ask all that this be a day that will live in mediocrity. Turn your body towards that nation who should be holding their heads in shame (wherever the hell they are) and flip them the bird, flash you pimple covered ass, throw a beer can. Let them know that here in America - stealing is the basis of not only our way of life, but pretty much keeps SL going.

Need to go. I think I can make an iPod out of prims and sell it to others. God I love SL (and America).

America - F YEAH!

Tags Categories: Down, Hate Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 17 Apr 2009 @ 09 02 AM

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 17 Apr 2009 @ 12:31 AM 

Look, I know you stupid fuc…I mean reader who let me know the page theme has issues in IE6.

I knew it last week. I know it now. I made the mistake of being someplace with the same inability as you to keep their browser current and found that one.

So, why not fix it. First, I’m dumb as shit. It would be best to change theme, but I like this one so damn much more than I like you which puts me in a pretty easy situation to be honest.

I did something I know I’ve said I dislike, but I went to the page my provider keeps the stats I don’t care about and guess what? There are more Safari users than IE6 users on this site. Do you know what Safari is? It’s the thing that iTunes tricked me into having installed during an upgrade one time. This means you are either outnumberd by people like me who don’t look before they click NEXT or there are people who actually want Safari which means you are looking bad standing next to idiots and people with poor taste.

Have some pride man. I am writing this in Firefox 3.0.8 and it looks great. It’s a short download and you can get it right now and never have to send me another dumb email OR drag your mouse over to the Start Menu and find Windows / Microsoft Update. The only problem with the later is if your ass is still running IE6 I imagine you need so many patches this is best done before you either go to bed or on vacation. You don’t have to go all the way to IE8 because I can also tell you the page works fine IE7 (and I forgot to say no Safari user has bitched either).

The problem you mention is not as bad as you think should you wish to stay on IE6. The posts do load. They just load about 20 or so page downs under the banner. You can still read this shit I am writing now, you just need to scroll down a bit. No one told me and I figured it out.

Wait. how the hell will you ever read this to know? Man if only I didn’t delete your email and then empty the deleted items folders so I couldn’t have a change of heart.

Tags Categories: Hate Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 17 Apr 2009 @ 12 31 AM

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 17 Apr 2009 @ 12:08 AM 

I used to bone someone in the legal field (that is all the detail I’m going into without finding my ass served by some insane bitter whore piece of shit).

They once told me when you get a discovery / admissions demand from the other side you have two options. First, is give them jack. Interpret the Oklahoma Discovery Code as literally as possible to deny requests as “proprietary information” or even find punctuational or spelling errors in the document that allow you to deny the existence of something they can’t spell or the like. The problem with this I was told is it doesn’t do anything but annoy the opposing counseling who files a compel motion which puts your game play in front of the judge who could give you a short time to produce or face dismissal. So, the second approach is to empty a freaking warehouse of shit if you have to to - just give them everything possible and send it off (Fedex even). Somewhere in there is what they want and need, but will they ever find it? Sure, they can tell the judge you are acting improper, but you defense is “we complied too well?

So, I was going to either say Linden was hiding shit or burying us in shit with this 2009 Q1 Report. No, I admit there is no way I was going to give them a fair shake. This is not a news blog and you know it.

Okay, there is a lot of shit here and most it means nothing. I was looking for the question I asked M Linden (learn it - that is what he is calling himself now) and he danced like a young Judy Garland on stage in circles jacked up on those speed pills Jack Warner fed her to keep her making money. It was good dancing I have to say. I’ve been caught doing some horrible things in my life and was never able to compose an almost opera like response that left the someone unaware of just what his question was. Man, I am starting to like this guy. Oh shit, another damn man crush. Damn you M.

Unless. Oh man. I get it. The same guy who did this data answered my question! A ghost spinner. Damn. Well, I still like him. You have to be a good judge to hire someone who can spin things that damn well.

Anyway, you never see numbers or terms for people willing to pony up at least $6 a month which to me should be the VERY MEASURE of loyalty because only people who feel good about SL do it. I waited a long while myself because their only incentive (you can’t own land) is so damn stupid. And $300 a week? I would give major ego / hand jobs to subscribers. Right now the only way to check is if someone has payment info on file and that isn’t a sure bet they are subscribers. So - MAKE IT A CLASS ENVY THING! Subscribers get a different title, are the only ones allowed to wear a certain button or dumb shit like that or (the best) have an area only they can enter. Even if it’s the lamest place on earth Linden could hype like you go in to see Jesus himself and in the backroom are back rubs with full release. Make a REAL VISIBLE LINE between those who subscribe (those who are committed to you) and those who do not (the whores who are not).

Next (back to the report before I got off on profiting by rubbing my better shit in the face of others). The term “user to user” transaction is bullshit and they know. They conceded to one user post a few key points (look for a “Equinox Pinion” post) that hurt (but don’t totally discredit their figures.

I don’t care how many people long on a bunch of times the same month or how many are on at once. I want to know how many new people come in the door, how many come back, how many subscribe, etc. Otherwise this is a big incest/cannibal world that will fall in on itself. I know this is possible (not incest - the figures) since Xstreet loves to hurt my feelings with a colored chart showing that for each 20 people who look at my shirts maybe 6 actually take A FREE FREAKING SHIRT. I can’t give shit away to 2/3 of people it seems.

We all know land is down and props to a Linden who (again) goes mia cupla over open space only to be knifed again (poor bastard). No one is sure how the adult changes are going to effect things and wait… WTF. That is one chart that has to make M Linden’s member at least twitch a little upward!! Xstreet was not only unaffected by world events, it’s doing better and better. And I still can’t give shit away on there.

I hate you people.

UPDATE: I am dead from work and being all dick like on here, but as I was running my bathwater to try and scrub the hate off, I saw this in a post about SL “State of the Union”:

” -basic infrastructure like roads on the mainland is many years overdue and falling behind. (here is a job that in it’s basic form could be performed by bots with the moles following behind fine tuning and adding finishing touches)”

Huh? I live on the mainland and I can tell you roads are pretty dumb just like aircraft because of you assholes who have apparently have top secret nuke secrets to hide with your dumb barriers. NO ONE DRIVES YOU IDIOT - STFU.

Wow (and this amazes me) I am too tired to cut and paste his other point that clothes or hair (or something) is suffering because Linden won’t make more connection points (over my dumb head) or something. I think this is the sort of logic that gave me 100+ prim hair when I found ripping it all off (I love MOD items) and shoving the hair colored ball in my head with 99 or so less prims looked fine.

YOU ARE NOD DA VINCHI YOU DOUCHE. BUILD IN LINE WITH REALITY.

Tags Categories: King Linden, Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 17 Apr 2009 @ 12 44 AM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 11:07 PM 

Lindens Shocked by Hippo Terror Attack

badhippo3

In what Linden law officials are calling a cowardly act of Hippopotamidae aggression, several attacks were staged by the Second Life Hippo Liberation Front.

The first attack came at the headquarters of grid wide corporate giant Hippo known for selling pretty much anything that will separate a citizen from his Lindens. They are best known for inventing the marketing concept of draining not only the traditional customer base who will buy any HUD, script in a box, or shiny object that makes them feel more powerful than their neighbor, but also marketing a line of products every vendor feels not buying will cost him money.

badhippo1

Two terrified shoppers and sixteen customer service bots interviewed by Linden Police report the hippo entered the store screaming “I’m a real hippo, you motherf**** and I’m about to sell you an ass whipping!!” before opening fire causing such extensive damage to the store that Hippo VP of Sales Chip Sellalot says the store will be closed for repairs leaving Hippo customers only 4352 affiliates and resellers of Hippo products in game and XStreet to buy Hippo products which he said could devastate the company which he described as a “family business very sensitive to the struggle of the hippo for CTRL-ALT-SHIFT-H rights”.

While the grid was still in shock from this attack, the calm of peaceful joy was shattered in another part of SL. Ghost town / amusement park Prim Hearts was the site of a second attack which endangered the live of the entire one person there at the time. We were able to obtain this exclusive video of the attack which we must warn is very disturbing and discretion is advised.

Video of Park Attack

Stalking the park like a deadly predator, the hippo searches for a victim for close to six hours before laying down for a nap. When he awakes he sets off in search of prey but is sidetracked by cotton candy for another 20 minutes. When the video picks up we see the lethal creature still on the hunt and the terrifying realization he has found it.

As he closes in for the kill it’s with shock and horror - then relief that we recall from high school that hippos have an extensive written policy that forbids them from attacking dead, asleep, or prey that doesn’t have the sense to log off when not active instead standing idle in some lame park with nothing to do.

There is no telling where the terror will strike us next, but we as a people must stand together in this time with courage and resolution. We will not give in to terror. No matter what the hippos do we will not meet their demands looking down the barrel of the gun.

Hold on, we’re getting an unconfirmed report that the SLHLF has launched an attack on an orgy club located in <> well I don’t know where it is. Why would I? That’s not the point (or your business). Anyway, as I was saying this is silly. Just give them the CTRL-ALT-SHIFT-H back before they shut down businesses that are too important to loose.

Go my hippo brothers! Via la key combo !

Tags Categories: Made Up Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 11 17 PM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 8:06 PM 

I think we all know joining anything (web forum, etc) and not un-checking that tiny little box that you can’t make out but really says “would you like to receive frequent shit mailings pushing crap you don’t need and your name passed to others who will rape spam your inbox as well?” is never a good idea.

When I joined Military.com it was with the intent of networking with other veterans and such so I gave them the benefit of not opting out of their “newsletter” which I admit is about 60% ad masked as article or health tip, but I have no regrets.

You see, the people at Military.com know how to hook veterans. An email with this subject could be all spam and we would still open it:

bulletshurt

Sure they make you skip over ads that might soak in a bit, but it’s a small price to pay really.

I hesitate to do this since emails I get remind me my reader base is comprised of little girls with pigtails in their hair who cry if insulted, but maybe I can turn you into tom girls.

I also wish I felt you were intelligent enough to not need this wanting, but there is some blood. I’ve seen much worse and so have you on HBO, but for those of you who have had the balls to write and say you would enjoy my site more if I said less “swear words” should know this guys says the sort of things you say when you get shot. very loudly and over and over.

Here you go.

Tags Categories: Army Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 11 18 PM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 7:17 PM 

When you turn off comments on a blog and ignore/minimize/insult the few readers you may have who get their fill of snark and move on, it’s a liberating experience in that it’s like a blog but not in I don’t write it with any expectation someone will read it and good luck trying to express your view to me. What we have here is like that crazy guy who lives under the bridge near the Broken Arrow Expressway who sets aside a few hours a day to scream shit at the cars and trucks passing that he must know no one hears, but he (like me) has the dedication to his mental condition to get it done everyday. I respect that. Not enough to give him any change of course, but respect and money should never cross paths or you have problems with paying for sex.

But what if I head over to Hamlet’s page, type some pretty lame ass bitching blog comment? I am one of several getting a response (he even mention my pretend name which I must say gave me about a 5-10 degree wood) from Linden CEO Mark Kingdon who was very straightforward and only came across as creepy when you noticed he replied to the questions as “M Linden” which at a certain point (2007 I think) lost any real meaning when Lindens went from the royal family to a close group of a few thousand I imagine which only adds to the level of weirdness that our creator and God Phillip Linden in RL is Philip Rosedale (both of whom have bigger wiki pages than mark Kingdon which might explain the name change).

This is yet another good side of only sort of blogging. M Linden wouldn’t want anything to do with my crazy ass rantings so it’s good he doesn’t know about them. This also allows me to trash his lame ass without guilt which I sort of regret because I really enjoyed reading his 2007 predictions article as much as his explanation of the dedication it takes it takes to be accepted into a My Space group as opposed to clicking “ADD FRIEND” pretty much randomly which I found has an 80% success rate.

Okay fine, maybe he has been off at times and maybe it’s just me on the My Space thing. I get a friend request and it just seems cruel to say no even if I am confused as to where I met “ANAL BEAD AL” from Tampa, but what if he knows my mom or something and I deny his request? It’s just best to click yes since I would never hear the end of that shit.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 11 22 PM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 6:43 PM 

All you have to do is believe.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 06 43 PM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 6:34 PM 

Any doubts I had regarding the existence of the creator are gone.

There is no way I can believe the gift that was given to me today was the result of chance. God wanted me to see this, laugh at this, and then splash some noob ass all over the net.

I give you — The BIONIC NOON

supernoob

Any noob can walk around in the gray/blue shirt of shame. And while a smaller group would be seen walking around with that goofy ass fisher price looking firearm, there can only be one that would top this ensemble off with what I imagine he was told is the latest shoe fashion to hit the grid by someone who’s hand I want to shake.

I know. I know. I would think the same thing. The perfect noob is just too damn good to be true so it has be some alt I tossed together for a laugh. First, we both know it’s very wrong to have alts and second I have shots with us both in them and this nice one showing noobs is a real 4 month old with the sense of a Dane Cook fan. Here is us togetherr with a comment I decided not to make and other dumb shit edited out since even if I know it’s wrong to say hurtful things to people (and in some cases noobs).

Before you start emailing people who don’t care about your superior compassion for sense challenge noobles (I mean me) please consider doing something more productive with your time like imaging who I would have to turn to for to amusement if the noobs run out?

Hi Friends, Adirc Here
I’m glad you enjoyed this special presentation. If you or someone you know is suffering from noobism, chronic clueless, or just have no idea how damn stupid they look, there is help avialble.

The Hobo Starter Kit is full of help and freebies

Xstreet has free shoes that won’t double as a home. but will restore some much needed dignity

Xstreet also has free guns and I have several free shirts on there as well, but we need to talk. I don’t think you are really ready for the responsibility of ownership of guns (normal sized ones anyway) and I would appreciate if you either not wear my items or at least not around others.

I’m kidding man - you can get some guns. This is America. Anyone can.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 06 41 PM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 8:31 AM 

For those of us (okay, you) walking around in shell shock from seeing shuttered shops in SL & people bitching about this being the worst sales they have had in SL since 1973 at the very same time Linden is printing (their own internal) reports of joy and sunshine - I am here. For the painful background noise of bitch and his unemployment chart that he used his many years at Harvard Business School to link with SL sales data to make the amazing discovery that perhaps the jobless don’t drop duckies on virtual objects - I am here.

I know you don’t have time to put your boots on and wade through the shit, but I do. I really do.

While I have no charts or Linden numbers, I have the one thing that makes me happy and feel informed in this world of SL sales - bitchy sellers on forums. From Xstreet to the smaller ones, I’ve read myself to drinking and things are changing. There is something in the air. It’s smells like..hold on…the kid across the hall is blazing one up again, I had to turn on the ceiling fan. Okay, so that was weed, but there is a change in the air if you read the forums.

Hold on. Before you sport wood and call to have Showtime added back to your cable, I am not into headlines like “HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN” because it’s lame and just not the case. I am into telling you what I feel is going on and that is a growing chorus of sellers posting pretty much the same thing. While sales are not setting records it looks like people are coming to their senses and making purchases again. Which brings us to the next part. A lot of posts (and I am inclined to agree with this) say things aren’t going back to peak anytime soon (or maybe ever). The idea here is that SL may of had it’s peak and while it’s not going out of business, it’s getting to it’s proper footing (the happy place between over hype and bankruptcy called normal where it needs to be).

The danger sign (and we all should of seen this) is when you start seeing books called “How to make money in _______”. It’s less a case of idiots churning out shit books (Linden is selling such a book btw) and more a case they found their way to make money in _____ and it’s books. The second sign (which we all saw) was the “business in a box” following by “you sell my shit but for more than I do so I get my cut” and of course when your gold rushers turn on you in the forums.

The forums may show a trend of things looking better, but you still have that brigade of troopers who have someone to blame for their problems. It’s never them of course. It’s Linden for loosing their items in game, Xstreet not letting them sell stuff for free on Xstreet (because Wal Mart lets Crest sell toothpaste there for free you know), those damn free items, and the failure of good advice like renaming all 5434 of your items to “object” to confuse copybot which they learn is like shitting all over your stuff at home so burglars don’t want it.

And them comes a wise child among them. Look, I don’t know this kid. I did peak in his store and left quickly upon realizing it was not for people with a penis, but this reply to a user asking for advice on good seller practices is something that should be given to every dealer in SL.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 08 35 AM

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 16 Apr 2009 @ 3:28 AM 

I can’t sleep. I laid there, tossed, turned, and even tried listening to the nuts call Art Bell and tell him aliens anally propped them on the rebroadcasts of his show on my PSP which always helps me chuckle to sleep (after I convince myself my ass is safe since they are surely crazy). Nothing worked, so of course I made the jump from RL to SL.

This time of he night the freaks come out and I headed right for a club that promised me a freak show (which is half right as me standing there watching is the freak). On the way I saw Taco Linden which was exciting since every time I come into contact with a Linden I bitch about all sorts of things until they have to make up some prior commitment and leave. Finding one in a taco outfit with his member hanging out and two sex balls (you can guess) would mean he couldn’t leave me for fear the world know he likes ground beef cheesy sex. Sadly, it was but an object.

badtaco

I went into the club sure taco was the low point, but when a sheep walked by that was doable, I decided the food/animal thing was just too much for one night.

sheep

I had lost the mood and I was determined to ruin for everyone so I found people I felt worry of cockblocking.

I can’t think of too many things more distributing than rape and that anyone gets off on that fantasy is a bit beyond me so why not stand there and watch giggling which surely has to ruin it for them. One of the first things I saw was a magazine so distasteful I wanted to roll it up and beat one of them with it so I was really getting the anger going.

forced

I set off across freak town to stop the injustice but the first man and woman I saw together were not fitting the profile. She could of opened him like a bag of chips if she felt so inclined. She didn’t need my help.
takecareself

By now I was a little winded with all the walking and needed to sit down. The only place I saw was a movie house and being a fan of theater, I decided to stop for a bit and see what was playing. While I had since this film before, it’s one of those ones where you notice something new each time.

movie1

While I was giving the motion picture my full attention I would pull the camera around to scan for those rape fantasy freaks but I never saw a guy. Instead, a pack of hot slutty women started to collect outside the theater.

moviegirls1

This seemed like an old place to hang out but as their number grew it became to occur to me maybe I had this all backwards. Maybe they were going to violate me in horrible ways against my will.

moviegirls2

Did I feel disgusted? I cant lie. I didn’t. Not minutes before I was pious as shit saying anyone who could get off on pretend rape was scum and here I was not too offended (but that could of been the movie really). In any case, I can’t do those moral gray areas and I teleported out so I could return to hating them since I wasn’t like them.

Sometimes (just sometimes) you learn things in SL. Some good worthwhile lessons you like and some make you examine issues you would prefer to make snap judgments on.

Damn you SL.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 12 16 PM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 11:55 PM 

Unanmed sources close to Governor Linden are telling us that he is considering stepping down at the end of this next term.

While Governor Linden has faced charges of nepotism after the scandal involving Linden after Linden getting jobs in his administration, he continues to hold approvals numbers in the high 90s in every report Linden releases. Also, Linden had already completed having the next six elections for Governor which Linden won making this all the more unexpected.

When asked for comment, an assistant to Governor Linden said he couldn’t comment on the matter but did want us to know we could get 2000L for each person we refer.

While this is still unconfirmed. it has not stopped three candidates from throwing their hats in the ring. We were able to speak to each and have a quick look at what could be our future leader:

Jesus is Coming Soon & You All Will Pay Party Candidate: Prudence Moralton

You Guys Want to Come over and watch BSG Party Candidate: Charles Scutterfield

And in an unexpected announcement, a new user to SL trying to find a money tree instead registered to run for governor and appears on the ballot as well.

I Did What? No. Wait Party Candidate: Nube Newsome

Tags Categories: Made Up Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 16 Apr 2009 @ 01 35 AM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 9:51 PM 

Typed ‘combat’ into the old SL search window and ended up (of course) with more stores that anything else, but I did find one RPG area where I was sure I could show up for some action.

readitboy1

If by action I was thinking a few hours of reading to get familiar with their rules, different types of creatures, and the entire history of place that doesn’t actually have one then yeah - it was action filled baby.

What ever happened to just showing up and shooting each other?

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 09 52 PM

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The 326th Linden Military Police Brigade was called out by Governor Linden today to deal with noob protesters.

While their demands aren’t clear, it is believed that want stuff and they would prefer it be free.

newbprotests21

When asked for comment Governor Linden read the following prepared statement:

Thanks for looking at my profile! Unfortunately, I’m usually not able to answer IM. If you need help, please use the Help menu for resources

When contacted for clarification on the governor’s statement, Help menu said while progress was being made there was still a large gap between what the protesters want and what is being offered. Asked for details, Help explained he had responded to the latest noob proposal which included grid wide hunts for cash, shirts that were not gray and blue, and Linden subsidized avatar genetelia. The counter proposal offered by Help is being called “as low as $6″. Professor Roger Simford at Linden Community College was asked to review this proposal by this publication and after many hours of reading it over stated “it’s a fair deal for all sides unless of course you live in one those shitty VAT countries”.

Our IMs to noob spokesmen went answered expect for the response “A/S/L ?” from the group’s press secretary.

Tags Categories: Made Up Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 07 19 PM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 2:59 PM 

I am not that bright when it comes to money. It began in the army. Paid on the 1st and broke by the 5th (but it was one hell of a weekend). Thanks to the barracks, mess hall, and free fashion supplies, you don’t have the same worries (minus death, limbs blown off, etc) and a bad habit is born.

While some habits are hard to break when you ETS the army, this was one I had help with. Ramen noodles and water is great every now and again but after 20 days it starts to take it’s toll on you mentally and your judgment becomes clouded endangering the lunches of co-workers in the lunchroom refrigerator.

My understanding of SL money is even worse. I seem to recall the House of Linden did what Obama wishes he could do leaving a trail of banker bodies and panic, but and it was for the best since giving your pretend money to a pretend bank that really spends it is kind of risky.

I also heard they either banned (or maybe discouraged) he selling of Lindens on E Bay which I didn’t get at the time, but I do now.

5000l

If this doesn’t jump out at you, here is the question I sent the seller.

zman

The seller is showing his location as out of country (and thus beyond the reach of the 404th Linden Airborne Division raid he could expect in the states) but he has been kind enough to put his avatar name in the auction and he does risk being grabbed in-game by Butch & Rocco Linden for a quick flight out to SL Bay Camp Pain off the cost of a protected area I would have to kill you if I told you the name of.

I’ll let you know if I decided to pick these up based on the answer since I found a little place in BAM that sells little Linden size frames at one hell of a bulk rate.

Update. Well, it’s happened again. I’m gotten so good at sarcastic comment that people are no longer able to tell when I am using it. In this case he tries to make the case it’s not his fault they cost me more, it’s E Bay’s and yes - I can pass them on. You know, I almost feel bad about how this guy thinks a deal is so close.

overhishead

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 03 30 PM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 10:03 AM 

Please someone. Anyone.

Follow this twitter feed

Read the clues, find the prize, but just wait there for the noob and laugh at him.

Tell ya what, he if leaves in shame (and he won’t) you can then have it.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 10 03 AM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 7:13 AM 

Sometimes a decision looks hard. Say you are torn between watching that wacky Fred on You Tube or the comic genius of a father splashing his doped up brat headed back from the dentist (assuming you can’t turn on the gas and soak your head in the over thanks to electric appliances)?

In this case, it’s Aspergers versus some web rag who feels their incredibility pedestrian political and social views (oh - and how can we forget their general wackiness) have shit all to do with SL or that anyone could give a damn.

First up is Torley who like me starts to write about something (his free textures in this case) but before we know it is on xstreet, image formats, advising you to check how much his employer ganks xstreet dealers for those who aren’t paying attention, and a few other topics that read a bit like a letter sent to a newspaper from someone in a cabin with a manual typewriter and list. Hating this guy should be so damn easy, but then he mentions what I like to call “LSD Island” which while further proof of his detachment from reality is creativity you don’t see in a world of copies of copies of copies. As much as it pains me, while I wouldn’t want to be in the same room with this guy unless I had some Ritalin to dispense if needed, I just can’t dislike him no matter how I try. You take his quirks away and you take the genius away. It’s just a cruel trick of nature (like people who get really buff having tiny members).

Next up is the StupidVille Herald ran by people so lame they have a page devoted to how bad ass they were in Simss and a sequence of words so evil that I had to have my monitor blessed by a priest upon reading them and a fire is burning now after I CTRL-C this stream of shit they actually wrote about themselves:

“In the more than five years of the Herald’s existence, it has gained a reputation as one of the hardest-hitting news sources covering virtual worlds. Unflinching both in its taste for a dramatic story”

Okay, but wait - it’s better. Imagine some journalism students at Des Monies community college get really stoned one night and decide to start a sort of local National Lampoon (except not funny). Not just that, they will mix in a few real stories, toss insults at Au/Hamlet since he is in with the man (and unlike them - readable), and items you would have to be clueless not to see are stupid like joking how people hate to see ads in SL while three corners of their web page is hosting banner ads (meaning if you call now — you can have the bottom).

Toss in a rape article, fake animal cruelty, more Hamlet hating, and it becomes clear where they get material. They go out to the protected land (sorry, I can’t give you the SLurl - I promised) where Linden stores the decaying bodies of the hundred thousand or so hippos they culled (you don’t think you can just pull an Easter egg do you?) and pull them from the dead rotting asses of these poor gentle giants put down before their time now being sucked dry so a bunch of egg heads so out of touch with real people can put out a shit site.

It’s like walking by the science lab in high school and hearing a kid make a periodic table of the elements joke. As much as you know it’s wrong, you can’t help but stuff his ass in a locker.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 09 37 AM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 1:00 AM 

Okay, before we start to scream, I admit I got a little crazy with the Wordpress themes today. I did finally stop and this one sucks the least of all I think.

The only lingering issue is this is one of those fonts that looks really nice in IE since font smoothing is automatic and like shit in Firefox since it’s not.

Can you simply turn on font smoothing in Firefox? Of course not. Bill Gates would have your ass killed if you tried. You have to turn it on system wide.

If you don’t have XP or something along those lines, just give up since I don’t know. Otherwise, display properties, appearance, effects. Can’t miss it.

Or just use IE. I use both since I broke IE once and found without a browser it’s hard to download a browser. Firefox always seems to be there for me but the font smoothing deal is one of those things that makes it like that girl that you are fine with going to “see” every now and again to like “hang out”, but you don’t want your friends to see you with her or anything. And don’t get all moral on me. If you were that cruel you wouldn’t want to hang with her at all. And no, it’s not about the peach fuzz under her lip. She could wax that off and still break a razor trying to mow her legs. Really nice girl however.

Very nice…..

Hey, I need to go make a call and see if someone is around, but don’t worry about the font smoothing. I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow and try a theme with less Firefox hostile fonts. Oh - if the guys ask where I am, tell them I’m at the free clinic or something.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 09 38 AM

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 15 Apr 2009 @ 12:34 AM 

Society is held together by rules. Rules that can not be broken. Further, no matter how we Americans deny it, we have our own little class structure just like the British we so criticize.

Sure, we don’t have a same sex repressive boarding school deal where shit gets weird when the lights go out and in America, a white trash hick from Arkansas can grow up to president, but Clinton wasn’t able to keep his shit under wraps like the upper class JFK and our homoerotic stuff waits until people are married, middle age,and in public. I’m terrified to use the restroom at River Parks for fear of either someone (who I agree would have to have medium to upper low standards) coming on to me OR some benign act like tripping on the way out the door gets me caught in TPD’s sex sting since that is clearly a sign I was hunting man meat in their “look we are cleaning the parks up” program that ends up with me on channel 6 in handcuffs sobbing about how this is all just a big misunderstanding.

In SL, the class rules are very clear (or at least have been). The House of Linden has sole domain over anything magical. This includes selling Lindens they can make as much as of or as little of as they please and land which it’s very well established they can pull out of all sorts of places. It can be the size of Belgium all the way to a solar system full of islands if they so please. This is the law.

The middle class sells things that are less magical. Prims, books on how you too can be rich in SL, 10,000+ textures, 534 sexual animations, and other such items.

The lower class sells the same things as the middle class giving them a cut.

The nooble class is the target audience they all seek to reach. But struggle given their limited spare time between orgies, grid hunts for amazing prices, and trying to grasp how people are able to live so high when they can’t jump there.

If this system is to work we all need to follow the rules, but I see on the SL site that not only is the House of Linden selling a book on how to get shit crazy rich in SL which cuts into those already on sale at eBay that come with 10,000 textures and 500L they are also getting in the multi-level middle class/lower class deal.

Maybe I am just noticing this offer to gain the cash equivalent of eight bucks in exchange for pissing off every friend you send one of these annoying messages, but either way this sort of cheap whoring is not the domain of the House of Linden. It’s how our class sells penis HUDs. Who the hell do they think they are?

And people. Don’t get all dumb on me. It’s 2000L per person who signs up. So if you send say 10 of these, you loose 7 friends, 2 people will down a bottle of pills and Jack thanks to you and check out, leaving you with 1 friend & 2000L which his noob ass will ask to “borrow” the very second he gets online and starts shadowing you like the sad stalker he is (he would have to be go to for this shit sales pitch).

Therefore, I ask - dare say - I demand - a return to our places. Friends, fellow people. Rise up with me and demand this. Or we will do absolutely nothing. Not a damn thing since it’s not like anyone is on Open Sim or something. (just don’t be a dick and tell Linden that - it sort of hurts our position). Oh, if you are Linden and reading this - I wrote that to trick you into thinking we won’t do anything. We in fact have an offer on the table from WoW to be level 2 dwarfs in their world. There are a few sticking points (there is no sex, it’s hard to make bank, and violence scares us) but we could work it out for all you know.

Tags Categories: Second Life Posted By: Adric Antfarm
Last Edit: 15 Apr 2009 @ 09 42 AM

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