"Grandpa, is that you and my daddy?"
"Yes little Freddy, that is me and your daddy Teddy."
"Why are your faces not in the picture?"
"Because I want you to focus on my medal. My gold medal."
"You won a gold medal?"
"Are you blind or what child?"
It was 2010. Me and your dad were on a road trip. We got the cat stoned on cat nip and were headed to the airport terminal to pick up some important business documents from Columbia I had coming concealed in a shipment of coffee.
We picked them up with no problem and went to the restroom to read a few lines of them in peace when I heard it.
"Canada ! Canada !"
Holy shit! It was terrorists! This is why I never flew commercial. And those bastards at the gate took my beloved Colt. It was up to me. Let's roll baby.
"You there!" I yelled brushing some powder off my nose. "Now see here, there is America and you will speak American! Your terrorist plot is foiled!"
"We beat you!" this French accented fuck said and my blood boiled.
"I will put a boot in your ass young man!" I screamed.
"We are from Canada. The best hockey players in the world."
I should have known….
"Look boy, you can see Russia from your back porch. We keep the red menace off your ass."
He started to laugh. My blood started to boil.
"Oui, you speak of that stupid woman and her baby."
Oh hell no. You can joke about her inability to speak, but at least she speaks American (no matter how she butchers it) and no one talks about the golden child. NO ONE!"
I ripped the hand dryer off the wall and started to beat them with it. You would think hockey players would be tough, but after I split the first few heads open they were begging for mercy and handing medals over.
"Wow grandpa! I hope I win a gold medal one day." Freddy said looking at me like the American hero I was.
"You already did kiddo" I said reaching into the old bloodstained box and giving him one of the many I had. "You already did."
