Day Two. On the road with my boy to show him what being a man is all about.
Teddy handed me a really funny looking 45rpm record to play.
"What the hell is this?" I asked.
"Justin Bieber CD" he said.
The little girl looked funny to me and I was not sure it would play in my girl's 8-track, but what the hell. It did not. Teddy started to cry. I grabbed some good music and popped it in.
Cause' I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
playin' my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
Then I saw her. A thing of beauty by the side of the road with her thumb out. I looked right. Shit! Four lanes of idiots between us. If I was to going to admire this beauty close up I had to cross them all. Let me see… Anything to worry about? Little bus full of special ed kids, ambulance, highway patrol crustier, and a funeral procession. Nope. Let's do it!!!
Wow. What an asshole. I can't believe the bus driver lost his shit like that. For the best I suppose. I bet that state trooper can't be a piggy and give me a ticket until the jaws of life get to him.
I adjusted my hair as her beauty came into view.
You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
"Can I give you a ride, ma'am?" I said.
"Are you some kind of nut who will kill me?" she asked.
"I would not tell you if I were." I answered honestly. She hopped in.
I had to impress her and I knew just how. A fancy dinner.
"Wow, do you boys always eat so well?" she asked.
"Yes" Teddy said. "Last night he gave me two Life Savers and a Tic Tac as we went to bed in that laundromat."
"Such a funny boy" I said as I shoved a bread stick in the lad's mouth from our never ending soup and salad.
I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine. I could feel something I had not felt in many years. My pen 15 seemed excited as well.
While this fancy dinner would surely put a dent in Teddy's bank, I was willing to go even further. Maybe even Motel 6 expensive.
"My dear, would you like to seek lodging with me and the boy tonight?"
She blushed…
A man of character does not kiss and tell (I hit that but good) and I will not either. No matter, for when I awoke the heaven and giggling (and vomiting) of Teddy was replaced by hell. TEDDY WAS GONE!!
RING RING
It had to be the kidnapper! I picked it up.
"I do not know who you are, but if you do not give Teddy back I will find you and I will kill you. If you do I will still kill you, but I will not play his Justin Beiber CD whilst doing it."
"It's me, Eggy. Teddy is with me."
"What? I told him cats were evil!"
"Yes and were the one person he would believe over all others not with me to tell him the truth it would of worked."
"Where the hell did you find Victoria?"
"On the same corner he did."
"Makes sense."
"Meet you in the lobby for breakfast in five minutes?"
"Make it five and a half. I have company."
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Not knowing what went on in that Motel 6 room, I'm certain it wasn't something Teddy should see. I hope you gave him his own room! Don't you know it's dangerous to pick up hitchhikers? Haven't you seen the movies about them? Good lord you could have been killed…or worse yet..married!
The lad was too busy giggling and vomiting to have see too much which sort of defeats the purpose of this trip. He needs to learn the ways of the world.
Well, missy – you did not see this thing of beauty by the side of the road. It was worth the danger (and remember I had my trusty M1911A1 service pistol in my holster).