With Eggy so busy with her business ventures, I have decided to test drive a kid. If I do not like it, I have 30 days to return it to the nice people at the trailer park and not be billed.
Why not a Haitian baby? The baptists are hogging those.
As for a prim baby or chicken or any dumb shit like that, not until I loose 100 IQ points in a fall off the roof kicking the neighbor's dish to make my point about how superior cable is. This kid is a one time expense.
My little guy is very independent. Never bums smokes or even asks for a light.
He has a very simple diet we can do together.
He is a smart kid too.
I am not into whoring items, but you can get your own little dude at Weirdiculous. Links are for whores.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Is that a flamingo in his diaper or is he just glad to see me?
Let me tell you a little secret about the trailer park folk. They will toss in stuff for a few extra bucks.
I got that flamingo, some used needles, and the 45rpm single of Don’t Worry Be Happy that you cannot even buy anymore.
Are you sure he's a boy? Have you changed his diaper yet? His hair is almost like mine! He could be a girl you know..
Is that BEER on his carrier?
I do not recall any mention of sex or changing, so this may be a unisex model that does not need that.
It is beer, but only for when his Jack is out (which is not something you want to let happen unless you have really good property insurance).
Have you walked around Bay City with him yet? I'm sure the girls there will 'ohh and ahhh' over him and maybe you'll get lucky! Just don't let him watch you don't want to corrupt the little guy.
I had planned an excursion to Bay City, but the little rascal found out and tried to sneak some gasoline and matches.
When you are older you just accept some people are assholes trying to move 512m for 91,000L. When you are a child you want to set the den of laggy overpriced hell on fire.
Wow, Adric. He looks just like you…. and a little bit like a cross between ET and Winston Churchill on a crack binge after a 36 house cider binge.
He is a handsome young man indeed with sure traces of the WWII PM, a visitor, and a nice tint of crack and cider around the edges.
He does have your eyes, it has to be said… have you been knocking up pole dancers again?
Heavens no. You cannot let even a possible stripper paternity issue linger.
Has to be handled Watchmen style ASAP.