"Adric, where the hell are you?"
"Well, it's 3:42 AM and you are standing on my bed having just tossed kitty litter on me to wake me up, so let us go with I am in bed."
"You need to get your sleep on a reasonable schedule for me."
"Sure, what can I do for you?"
"All this talk of escorts has me concerned for the wellbeing of the grid"
"How so?"
"Victim-less crime my ass, I watch Lifetime. We need to do what Americans do when they are concerned."
"What is that?"
"Invade, kill, or arrest."
"I do agree renting this nice boat, dressing up, and taking pictures has made me feel cool, but how exactly does this address the escort problem?"
"Adric, while I will be the first to admit there is not the large number of whores in this body of water that I had expected, you need to trust in your partner. That thin blue line is all that protects us. Also, I am holding a loaded shotgun, so shut your stupid mouth and let me think."
"Sorry. I see a dolphin. We could arrest that if it made you feel better."
"It would not."
"I did not think so, but I wanted to offer. Sorry Eggy."
"Let's see if shooting at it does however. Wait, I got it. If the whores will not come to the boat, we will take the boat to the whores. We need a trailer to pull this boat."
"How will that help?"
"You will pull up and offer the whore money for some disgusting act. Before she can find whatever object you have requested she use on you, I will jump from my hiding spot on the boat and do something."
"Something?"
"I plan to experiment to find what works best. Maybe claws first into their head or maybe just pick something up and throw it at them."
"Are we arresting them?"
"Only if they turn out to be no fun to attack.. Let's do this. After I shoot at the dolphin of course"
"That was a blast, Adric. What did she agree to do for money."
"Oh, well, I just stopped to ask her where the nearest McDonald's was."
"One more off the street. Let's go grab a beer."
"Eggy, she was a little old."
"I noticed the sound of bones breaking a bit more easily and figured that."
"We need to make a dent in this before we stop for the day."
"Really? Do you feel that strongly about it Adric?"
"I do."
"I respect that. Let us go to the undercover phase."
"We have been out here forever and nothing."
"Again Adric, I concede I overestimated your chances at getting someone to pay for something you have trouble giving away."
"Why the hell are you recording this?"
"Evidence."
"Of what?"
"My genius. My amazing genius."
{ 2 comments }
Would… uh… would you know where a friend of mine could get his trembling hand on that video?
This is the sort of video I won’t know about until I run for public office or find myself getting laughed and pointed at by college students at a book store as they snap phone cam pics to post with LOL comments.
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