"Sir. Your report is ready."
"Excellent. Have the little people stopped bitching about the X Street changes?"
"Mostly sir."
"Mostly? I will give them something to bitch about. Can you say lost inventory?"
"I do not think that will be necessary sir. The changes never took place."
"What the hell do you mean? Is the free crap off there or not?"
"Of course sir."
"Then it happened."
"No sir. It did not."
"You are one strange henchman."
"Sir. The people are back to focusing on whatever little people focus on. Like whatever the underclass eats for dinner. Hamburger Helper I imagine.
"Oh. I see. Did we use our agents to make them forget?"
"Yes sir."
"Excellent. How did agent Prok do?"
"About that sir. Not well."
"What the hell do you mean? My idea to create a monster that was so cruel to us that people felt bad for us was genius."
"That it was sir. But she went rouge."
"God help us."
"I wish he could."
"I guess not. Call my kids and tell them I am divorcing mommy then. She knew the risks when she agreed to go undercover. She was so brilliant she got lost in the role."
"I am so sorry sir."
"I was cheating on her anyway. What about Hamlet?"
"Pardon sir? Cheating with him you mean?"
"Well yes, but that was not my question. How did Agent Hamlet do?"
"New World Notes did much better sir. They gave the BBC being mean to us so much play that the idiots lined up to defend us."
"The same idiots we just anally assaulted?"
"The same."
"Excellent."
"Just a few issues sir. We had to distract a few troublemakers."
"Which?"
"The Swedish one."
"I hate her."
"We all do."
"How did you get her away from the truth?"
"We have to make a sacrifice sir. Tiger’s wife is going home to Sweden and she will comfort her."
"Oh no. I love Tiger."
"We all did sir."
"Good of him to fall on his sword."
"We pushed him sir."
"Whatever. What else? Not Adric? I paid people to tell him that cat stuff is funny. He is too busy on that lie."
"No sir. There is still one person demanding to be heard."
"Is that all? Show them in."
"Yes sir."
"I AM HERE TO PROTEST THE-"
"Hold on young lady. Let me put my translator on."
{ 10 comments }
I feel very distracted! I need a hot bath!
You are supposed to be comforting Elin Nordegren.
Did you see that place she got? Even bad places in Sweden are expensive. They say it’s the land however. She can afford to build a nice house on that.
http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/14/elin-nordegren-tiger-woods-swedish-house-purchase-photos/
yeah, I am surprised by the state of the place because I KNOW she can do much better than that, it seems she found some place that was someone's summer cottage on a huge bunch of undeveloped land. I know this one place, very rare to see a roof caving in, so I thought OMG I wish I could have it! The garden over grown and mature fruit trees, and a little gate and three stories high… fantastic! and a lovely hilly outllook, Elin could probably do so much better, but I guess they are going to build up that place.
My husband's father was a carpenter with his own buisness so my husband got his first apartment for half the price of all the other ones in the building.. but the catch was it needed renovating because the kitchen caught on fire… sold it for about 5 times the price he paid.
Well, I hope she finds a man who treats her better.
She seems like a nice girl.
Elin's mother lives in Florida too! LOL just like mine!
She does? Road trip!
I would love to take my camcorder down there and do a serious of interviews on the childhood of one the most popular multi-realm muckruckers.
You know her from You Tube, from Second Life, from her own blog, and of course on Adric’s crap site – but for the first time ever hear about the legend before she was a star! Her toilet training, her first protest, her first confrontations with others. All told by the person who knew her from egg on!!
Exclusive ! Only on Adric’s site! Hear the most embarrassing and awkward moments from infant to teen!
And yes – BABY PICTURES! Goth pictures!
Alter - The Mommy Tapes
Coming soon to Adric’s site!!
And if I were to ask YOUR mother about who you are, are there not chances that she may fasten her story on a fave binky or food you no longer like?
She made a lot of TV dinners and we had crap blankets so I think she would say I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Then that I don’t visit enough. I live too far. When she gets on my nerves I start doing that jerk off motion with my hand and she smacks me. She has a list.
Then she would pull out the pic of me in the sink as a baby bath and say “look at his little thing!”
At least she had you sit for pictures..my mother on the other hand never did! I don't think I existed until I went to school..maybe I was kidnapped? yea…that's gotta be it…I'm some royal princess stolen from my cradle to be raised in the woods of a small town in Michigan….I need my crown!!!
Yes, that is a sign you were likely cut from your mother’s womb and taken or perhaps from the hospital or maybe found in a basket.
Either way, the important thing is you need closure.
Sue fake mom so hard she has to live in an alley.
Comments on this entry are closed.