The Knower

I took an oath never to reveal this, but like my marriage oath, the boy scout oath, the abstinence pledge, my promise to do right if I got parole, and the Pepsi Challenge, I am going to break that oath for the benefit of all mankind.

In 1983, I traveled to Mount Obesi to seek the secret ways of the Second Life Blogger Master, "The Knower".   It is said he knows all (hence the name, jackass –  think about it).

After I waxed his car, took his large hairy daughter to prom, and shoveled the snow off his walkway, he told me many things.   The most important was of course "do many cat stories, young Adric, for they will work over and over", but he also gave me some advice I would like to share with other bloggers.

Do Not

• Blog about the drama in Second Life.   Your article asking why there is so much, what can be done, and how sad it is has been done no less than 984 times and you lack both the talent and insight to bring anything new to the table.
• Blog about your depressing life.  Be it the crushing final exams, the news you are cutting yourself again, your doctor raising your Prozac dosage, or that nasty flu, we simply do not give a shit.  No one does really or you wouldn't have tried to spray this out on your blog.
• Blog about how great Blue Mars or OpenSim are.   The first was boring day one as we saw all the limited avatar appearances, the golf, and your opinion it's the best thing since the Emancipation Proclamation.  The second is once again on the 2010 prediction list as taking over (as it was in 2009).  When it takes over one thing we care about, you can blog about it.
• Blog about how you have had it with Second Life and are leaving for OpenSim.   We get it.  Go. 
• Blog about your "spouse" in Second Life.  He is a 42 year old dude in Trenton, New Jersey not a 19 year old girl in Norway.  I know it and so do you.
• Where you are "singing" "modeling" "DJing".    In fact, just avoid verbs as a whole since you only pretend to do them in Second Life.
• Bitch about content theft only to bitch about anything Linden does about it as heavy handed.  Linden is no more magical than you are a decent blogger.
• Chronicle the injustices committed against you by the group you just left and will never go back to (which them banning your ass facilitates actually).

Do

• Make a little note for readers saying the item you are "reviewing" was given to you for free and since you don't want your swag flow to stop you plan to say only the nicest things.
• If you review items try and pick at least one out of a hundred that you do not like.  Pick a dealer you can do without free stuff from.  It will separate you from the other whores and stir things up a bit.
• Assume if New World Notes said something that we know about it.   If you don't have an opinion or something new to bring, spare us.

Why would I break this oath now?   Well, like Steven Segal and his show, I felt it was time.   Also, I want to tell you one of the more secret sage tidbits of wisdom.   This is one that ties into today, so it's just time to let the world know.

Guess what?   We have lives.  Really.   Some of us read novels and the like as well so the offering of a 7000+ word chat log like that on Prok's story on Emerald being worse than Osama is not something that is missing in our life.   We could simply go talk to those people instead of you boring us to death.   Are you seriously telling us every one of those words is something we need?  Did you lack the time to create a summary of your points yet think we had the time to endure this?

I don't mean to pick on Prok (per se) but she does this over and over.  It's as if she isn't even trying to bring us into her rage.   I package mine in bite sizes pieces for mass appeal.

It's likely you will not be able to take in that Emerald rant (I sure as hell was not), but something about it being evil (I think).   It also ties into bonus Prok on the Second Life Blog item on the new script rules.  If you have not heard about this, Uncle Linden is going to start tracking memory usage and poorly scripted items that exceed an as yet undefined limit will not rez for you.     That is boring (unless you script items and don't want the flood of angry people you are going to see coming after you when they can't rez them), but not the skilful way Prok finds to drag Emerald into this.

As funny as this is, the next post is a little more funny since the defense is a bit silly.   They say that is simply not true since you can choose not to enable it and see them which while true doesn't stop someone from getting wood off your jiggle against your wishes (more Prok's point).

While that response is a tad disingenuous, I have to tell you ladies something.  No matter what you wear, men see what they want.   You can look like a nun, we may think slutty whore.   We will think things you simply don't like and that is that.   

Oh, and since when has Prok had an avatar with tits? 

Did not see any Prok on the Content Roadmap rolling down the highway update   This is some weird shit.  Imagine a blank texture and message from Torley that your items are hot and not usable.

Lastly, looking for alternative to Xstreet?    Well thank Mr. Stindberg for this side by side comparison of your options.

Tagged as: Second Life