Ladies and Gentlemen, NBC is proud to present the 16th Annual Adric Christmas Jam.
Live from Rockefeller Plaza in New York City.
Starring
Adric Antfarm
Eggy Antfarm
With Special Guests
Charo
George Hamilton
Jim Stafford
Donnie & Marie Osmond
Captain and Tennille
Wayland Flowers & Madame
Ladies and Gentlemen, Adric Antfarm.
Thank you. Thank you. Please. Stop. I am not worthy of all this applause. I am not really. Please. I meant it. I will have security use pepper spray if needed.
First, let me say I will have security on standby if you start that shit again, but moving on…. I want to say this show is about you. Be your holiday Christmas focused on the birth of your savior, Hanukkah where the eternal flame in the Temple burnt for eight days, or Kwanzaa where you celebration your African culture.
Personally I think you are all some amazingly misguided idiots, because we all know it's about him. The man at the mall who likes to have kids he is not related to in his lap telling him what they want. Kids who he watches all year. He sees them when they are sleeping. He sees them when they are awake. And one day a year when their parents are asleep he breaks in their home so he can… oh… Maybe you are right.
No matter, we have a great show for you and we are starting now. Ladies and gentlemen, on lead guitar, Eggy Antfarm. Let's get this party started girl!
I feel like some Jungle Love!
I’ve been watching you
I think I wanna know ya (Know ya)
I I am dangerous
Girl I wanna show ya (Show ya)
My jungle love (oh we oh we oh)
I think I wanna know ya (Know ya)
Jungle love (oh we oh we oh)
Girl I need to show ya (Show ya)
"ADRIC!!!"
My jungle love (oh we oh we oh)
I think I wanna know ya (Know ya)
Jungle love (oh we oh we oh)
Girl I need to show ya (Show ya)
Hey Jesse Now Jerome
"ADRIC!!!"
"What Eggy?"
"What the hell are you screaming about?"
"I guess I was dreaming."
"About what."
"Um… evil clowns."
"You are sad."
"I know. Want to go get some ice cream?"
"Do you really have to ask?"
"No, I guess not. Hey, sorry if I scared you with all that loud noise."
"You do not scare me Adric. Your lack of talent appalled me as did you being totally off base on what it would be like."
"What do you mean?"
"It would be more like……"
LIVE from Studio City in Hollywood California
The Eggy & Adric Comedy Hour
And now….. here they are - Eggy and Adric!!!
"Thanks so much for coming out tonight!"
"Sorry I was late, Eggy. I had a flat tire."
"Really Adric? I hear you were driving here and saw a sign that said "STUDIO – LEFT" so you turned around and went home!"
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"Oh you!"
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"So Eggy, what should we sing for these nice people?"
"Well funny you should ask Adric, we got a request in the mail."
"Really? What do they want to hear?"
"They want to hear you never sing again!
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"Oh you!"
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"Try and keep up, Adric"
"You got it Egg."
We won't find out until we grow
'Cause you got me, and Eggy I got you
Egg
I got you Egg
I got you Eggy
Your broke ass can't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got
And even if your blog sucks rocks
I don't care, cause you change my box
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb
I got you Egg
I got you Eggy
I got you to hold my hand
I got you to buy me stuff
I got you to walk with me
I got you to blame crimes on
Egg
I got you Egg
I got you Eggy
<AUDIENCE APPLAUSE>
"You know Adric, the audience didn't hate your singing!"
"Really? I must be getting better!"
"Nope, your microphone was not on!"
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"Oh you!!"
<AUDIENCE LAUGHER>
"Say goodnight, Adric."
"Good night Adric!"
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Love your Bono….
Well you passed the test. You can move on to round two.
I did that use that name for I tire of children asking what this has to do with the lead singer of U2.
I wish my memory was better. She used to humiliate that little man on stage night after night and he just stood there. It was funny, yet disturbing on many levels. It wasn’t until I saw her sobbing at his funeral (never ski into trees) that I realized she was human (the parts of her that were still original anyway).
He was her Svengali – her mentor. They were deeply in love until…well..I'm not sure what broke them up…but they continued the show even after they had marital problems.
One of life's greatest lessons – don't ski into trees…don't skate on thin ice (sounds like a song I can hear the tune in my head)…
Oh that was a sad time. Like George Burns’ shot after Gracie passes, the viewers had no interest in the show post-divorce. I felt bad for them.
I think Cher outgrew him (oh, another short joke). That voice could of grated on her nerves as well. Let’s be honest, she was out of his league.
When Lettermen reunited them it was magical really. People say mean things (as we Republicans are used to) about Bono because of his party, but the measure of the man is in their response to their daughter’s coming out. Cher tossed her out, Sonny accepted her. While they both ended up supporting her (and I think she is a he now – I am not clear on that), the fact remains that in between clubbing seals, poisoning the environment, oppressing people, and just evil in general – we love our children. He was a good and decent man.
I think it was don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Or maybe don’t mess with a junk yard dog. Perhaps not stepping on blue suede shoes. There are so many lessons in songs.
I used to watch Sony and Cher because I used to think that my Mamma was playing Cher on the nights when she went to work, until I realised that she wasn't Cher!
Who did you think the man with your mother was?
at the time, I was really young and my mother just left my father (or was it my father who left my mother for some guy) and it was just before she married this guy who looked too much like Neil Diamond, in a police officer, she left his arse 3 months later. He was creepy. I hate to say it, but it was best that she did anyhow or the woman would have become a too tanned trophy wife!
You have a novel there. I would read any book with a chapter entitled “Creepy Neil Diamond”
Young Alter was smaller and it took 6 grown people to hold her puny little self down for a rubella booster which was strange because she had totally no antibodies for it when tested and got paid to do it again many years later, funny thing is that it took exactly 6 grown bouncers to eject Alter from a show she was invited in by the band but because the Promoter had molestested her at one time, he made it clear she wasn't welcome in his area, because she would say NO, even though he would catch her out of the corner of his eye and catch himself aproaching her, trying to chat her up… no she had to go.
See. I personally would need a chapter to go from shots to a molestation, but you did it just a paragraph.
There is a novel there. Or a letter to Penthouse Forum.
I am guessing one can not spell "altercation" without "Alter"
(even if it may be spelled completely wrong!)
Slap that wig on Eggy and send her over for fun fun time…
She’s fixed. She would view any moves as hostile and I would have to spend all day digging another hole in the backyard to hide more evidence.