14th Annual Antfarm XmasSmash

Let's give them a big hand!  Everybody have fun tonight!   Welcome everyone to Antfarm Xmas Smash 2009.   I am your host,  Adric Antfarm. 

You may be wondering why you are all blindfolded.   Let me assure you we have no intention of putting a ball gag in your mouth and going all pulp fiction on you.  Most of you anyway.   The reason is to unveil Adric Tower 4 USA. 

As you know, there was a contest held and the winning design was that of 9 year old Ian Wesley of Cardiff.  Ian's submission was called "Adric is Number One!" and was a tower based on the number one.  What impressed the selection board most is Ian submitted two designs.   A hooded version for the EU and one without for the US.  

Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present, Adric Tower 4 USA. 

As we kick this off, thanks to ArminasX for his amazing work on the seating chart.   A lot of work went into this even before the 572 emails, 23 phone calls, 3 faxes, and one demand he submit his work for forensic examination on an episode of Mythbusters.    Also, musical guest Torley has had to cancel due to a scheduling conflict.  Our loss is a gain for the sellout crowd at the Westchester County Center in White Plains.  This one of a kind performance on keyboard while explaining pitch shift in Sony Vegas while dazzling  the crowd with client environmental settings changing from day to night in an instant which flows into a 32 minute totally off-script monologue on lossless audio compression  has to be seen by all.

Without amplification of our awesomeness it was looking like crap for entertainment.  That's right, the Phil Spector of Second Life (pre-murder of course), Crap is musical director for this evening and I see he is giving me the signal.  Once again, give it up for Second Life's only Wang Chung tribute band–  what?  Oh, Crap was not signaling me, he was flipping me off.  Such a kidder. 

We love you all equally, but more so those at the large roped off tables we call our supporting guests.   At table Gold is New World Notes.  In attendance tonight are Hamlet Au, the lovely Willow & Chestnut, and several faceless twits from Koinup and Rezzable throwing VC money at anyone who looks like he knows where the bar is and can come back with anything to numb the hopelessness.    The later will be presenting a Powerpoint presentation entitled "We Are Still Relevant and Viable.  No, Really."   Hamlet has already handed me questions for the audience asking what they think and hold on -  there is more. He just handed me his top five things from the first moments of tonight and what looks to be a hotel and room number.  Thanks, I've already booked here and- another note?  No, it's a drawing of two sticks being used to make fire reading "get it?".  Could someone turn the heat up please and find Bettina.  Hamlet could use some art tips. 

At table Blue are Dale, AM Radio, and a few others not named.  They wish to make it clear they are here completely without the knowledge and approval of their organization.   Also that the new Power6 series is Build on Power and provides more performance per core than any other system and is scalable like none other.  The New Power Equation is here.

Before we go to the next table of adorable people, let's check with our man on the floor, Daniel Voyager.   Daniel, are you there?

I sure am Adric.  As you asked, I am out on the floor trying to create awkward situations.  I was able to get noted blogger and crtic of most everything, Prokofy Neva moved to the same table as Second Life's princess, Marianne McCann.

"Hi Mrs. Neva! My name is–"

"I know who you are."

"Mister Voyager is right. I did not mean to make you mad. I am a good girl."

"Am I supposed to just believe that? The commies said the same."

"I think you are really a nice lady. You just act all mean."

"Really?  Maybe you are just a sweet little child."

"I promise.  Would you a like a hug?"

"A hug?  I don't know what to say.  Yes, that would be so nice."

"Thanks.  I knew you were a nice lady.  And I love you sweater."

"Are are looking at my tits?"

"That is a bad word.  No!:"

"You are!  You are using Emerald to look at my breasts!   AGE PLAY ATTACK!  I AM BEING AGE PLAY ATTACKED!"

"I am not. Your avatar doesn't even have them lady!  Really!  I pinky swear!"

" You copped a feel when you hugged me, didn't you!  AGE PLAY!  AGE PLAY!!  SOMEONE FIND ME A LINDEN AND MY LAPTOP TO POST 4000 WORDS ON THIS!"

"Mister Voyager!  Help me!  Watch out!  She has a bread knife!   Security!  Security!   Bunny down!  We have a bunny down!  Medic!  Oh my God! I have lost my childhood. Again"

Calm down people.  Eggy has taken the suspect into custody and we are looking for a vet. 

I think we have all learned a very valuable lesson here.  As you may of noticed, we did not have a Platinum Ravenglass Rentals table this year,   It seems someone returned our RSVP without a check instead enclosing a note on the back of what appears to be a piece of a box of Meow Mix that read "Go Fuck Yourself Commie Bastards."  

We need a new guy out there.  Who do you have?  Really?   I guess.    Hey folks,  this kid is a like a son to me.   Here from his amazingly popular Twitter gig, it's Second Lie!

Thanks so much lie.

I don't want to say Adric's blog sucks, but he doesn't leave teeth marks.

That will be fine.

"Hickry dickery dock, Adric was suc-

EGGY!

Look at the clocks. Quickly please. Ignore the screams for help and cat with baton beating 140 character at a time funny guy. There you go. Keep looking. And done.

Okay, I think that takes care of that and it looks like the servers are bringing out the main course.  I hope you all enjoy your meals and have the most wonderful holiday.

I will be up in a bit for the raffle draw.  Please keep your tickets.  You need to be present and have your ticket to win.    As you eat, the band has more tunes, we have a prim baby act from the UK and one from Zindra that you do not want to miss called DADV.

Tagged as: Second Life