No Longer Can They Lie

Who is to blame for the state of the SL economy? 

For over a year now the fingers have been pointed at everyone but the guilty party.  At the criminals using Copybot to steal your products.  At other merchants stealing your designs.  At freebies that discourage purchases.   At  Linden for  exhausting all the tits on the cow then poking new ones wherever and squeezing firmly  for land tier milk.   And of course the cause most cited for the SL economy in crisis an angry vengeful or possibly intoxicated God lashing out.

I am here to today to say that is all bunk.   That is what big business and the community activists want you to think.   They can never allow the truth to come out as it shows them for the greedy criminal bastards they are.

I may pay the ultimate price for telling this story, but it's a story that must be told.  I only regret I have but one Avatar to give for my grid…….

The Sims have come for us.   They trashed their original world, then Sims 2, and with Sims 3 in ruin and no Sims 4 on the horizon, they called cabs (they cannot travel between two points by any other means) and came here.   They are taking our jobs, our camper chairs, our dignity.   They refuse to learn our (or any other language).  They are destroying our culture.

Sagging Stock

Galactica Solo is the 4th Solo to run the family business.  Solo's Wongs, Dongs, Longs, and Tongs Company  is located in a quiet corner next to a lake in Zindra.   They provide high quality dongs for multiple attachment spots (pelvis, hand, head, face) at a reasonable price.  The profit isn't great, but Mr. Solo told us the important thing to him was not money.  It was making the best dong possible.  

Running a small company,  Solo has to ensure he has the right amount of stock on hand.  Too much could cause cash flow problems and too little could cause items to go out of stock.  Solo has struck this balance always — until this year when it became clear there was a dong shortage.   To be exact, a white cut 12 inch dong shortage.   Since sales were level Solo knew he had another problem and decided he needed to do a full warehouse inventory.   A day he will never forget as long as he lives.   Just after starting the count, Solo heard a nose in a shipping container.   At first he assumed it was a fellow avatar until he tried to speak to him and got only gibberish as a reply.   The more he tried to converse the more angry it appeared to get.   When Solo noticed red minus signs above it's head he knew he had a problem.   He had a Sim problem.

When Border Service arrived they took a Sim into custody with an extensive criminal record.    While the case is still under investigation,  it is believed he had been living in the container surviving off dongs for at least six months.

Why Here

Galactica Solo was out of pocket thousands of Lindens on lost and damaged dongs.  He wanted answers.  He wanted to know why Sims are here.  

There are many theories on why Sims are fleeing Sim and sneaking in SL.

• They aren't that bright.  Needing to be told to use  the restroom, sleep, eat, etc.  When they lost their Sim job it's possible they snapped.
• They are stuck.  In SL you can change your appearance anytime.   In Sims you are stuck with your choice.  Often times a quick decision can come back to haunt Sims as is the case of three housemates.  It started with one celebrity and somehow ending up with four of the most annoying ever.  Kathy Griffin, the pale kid from Twilight, that other kid from Twilight, and Zac Efron.  Thinking it would open job opportunities, they found it just annoyed others.  As the days wore on just looking at Kathy became too much and the others fled for SL.   Two are now very successful SL bloggers and one married a Linden.
• Most people do not know this, but all the virtual worlds are near each other.   WoW and SL share a border but it's heavily protected by a squad of level 16 trolls on one side and Gor Furries on the other.  The border shared by SL and Sims is another story.  Faced with a manpower shortage,  the only unit available was a troop lead by Madeleine Mccann who has  paid for two years of summer camp yet stopped not a single border crossing.

How to Spot Sims

How do you know it's a Sim?   Do you see a big green thing on it's head?   That is likely a Sim.   It may change colors when angry.  One Sim followed by police attempted to meet his favorite blogger who was not there.  The indicator over his head changed colors he was so disappointed.

Sims cannot speak with the exception of nonsense even they don't understand.   You can however pick up emotions by watching above the head and for exaggerated movements.   Below is a Sim being held at the Sim Detention Center.   He agreed to show us some things to look for in Sims provided we protected his identity and send him to City of Heroes and not back to Sims.

The first image is a laughing Sim.  The second is a frightened one.  The last is the Sim sleeping and his dreams being displayed. 

What to do

Sims are very unpredictable creatures.   If they become angry you may see minus signs above their head.  This is bad.   Do not panic.  The important thing to remember is that unlike SL avatars, Sims are mortal.   You can kill the shit out of them.   Have fun with it.    Run over them, set them on fire,  hell- get medieval on their ass.   Pretty much anything you've ever seen on TV and wanted to do.

Tagged as: Second Life