And the award goes to...
The 2009 awards show (anything you do between now and the end of the year will not count, so stop trying) ran just under 7 hours, so we will be presenting the awards over several days here.
As always, there is no voting, no real basis in fact, or fairness in this process. And as always the assumption is made you do not want a crappy looking 10 prim award holding a beer and smoking unless you IM Adric Antfarm and say you do.
Best Linden
Blue. Everybody loves Blue.
Less Than Best Linden
Seriously, did they really say “go build a big electric fence to show how friendly adult verification is?” and why is “unpleasant” the most positive opinion of Oskar Linden we find without too much asking?
Best at Making Bank off Idiots
If someone told me you could not only find someone to buy your chickens/turtles/gremlins, but also not mind it’s going to die (and need replacing), requires the purchase of food, and is slow enough to think there is a rare item in a world where one can be made two then four, I would of laughed at you. I hope the bank you make is comfort as you roast in hell with Satan shoving pineapples up your ass.
Bravest Little Girl
Not a lot of people want to take the child avatar case up, but Marianne McCann does it without so much preaching as living the life of an avatar that is just a normal kid. A kid that owns her own store and has misadventures with banana peels.
Best Resident
You cannot find anyone who works longer or harder putting out information on everything Second Life than Daniel. His own blog, Twitter, Flicker, SL Feeds, Plurk, sky writing, and banners on the International Space Station are just some of the places to see his many frequent (and helpful) posts.
Best Place to Watch Avatars Get It On
The Keyhole not only has a movie theater that plays avatar adult entertainment (not 70s porn, actual avatar adult features) they have a hotel, garage, and beach where watching is not only allowed – it’s encouraged.
Best Self Destructive Trait
Suing Linden with visions of gold in your eyes never seeing past the glittery pile a world of education and business users that bitch less replacing you as Linden decides to ditch individuals or the mob with torches coming for you when they have to have payment on file just to stand around and have to jump through eight hoops to protect you from dubious dangers such as proving who they are just to visit your lame sim.
Off Target Assholes of the Year
Early in the year Gawker and other “knowing” people predicted the death of Second Life was at hand. We are waiting bitches.
Oldest Infant of the Year
Why can’t Open Sim walk yet? Or even a brisk crawl? Why can’t they get a common currency? Why can’t all the people who scream they are going there ever go? Does anyone miss Rezzable?
Readers Most Likely to Die or Kill
If Prad Prathivi wrote an article asking his readers to maybe drink some Killer Kool Aid or take out the neighbor’s dog, no one can say for sure how many would obey, but we would look for a decent size pile of humans and/or dogs.
Readers Most Likely to Attack Everything
Alphaville has an interesting concept going. One day it’s hard news on a lawsuit, the next day it’s back to throwing their readers meat. This has created an odd hybrid of well informed carnivore creatures you cannot kill.
Best Proof Museums Do Not Have to be Lame
The Museum of Sex Furniture in Zindra
Snooze of the Year
No one of any importance (non-self rated excluded) went to SLCC 2009 and minus some drunken snapshots and blurry pictures of features coming soon it was a total snooze. Had they not of found the chalk I doubt it would of gotten any non egghead Not As Lame in Real Life type coverage.
In Memory (Maybe)
Oh dear Rheta… Was it a car that took you from us or a tidal wave of shit? Bullshit to be exact? Did the same car also get your tech guy who disappeared after that sad day in May when he told us about the tragedy then vanished leaving us without his description of what I imagine was a touching funeral. Goodnight my love.
Adric A. Antfarm Pioneer Award
Vint Falken for a body of work that includes countless tips, tutorials, and articles on most everything. Not as active these days but the information is still there and just as helpful.
Unstoppable For No Reason
What hold does Plurk have on our kids and can we ever get them back? Second Life’s lost generation.
Stoppable Yet Not Getting the Hint
Second Lie, it’s not working man. Please stop.
Best Display of What Second Life Residents Are All About
Even with the economy tanking, drives for numerous causes including the American Cancer Society found Lindens given as if it was still the boom.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
For the record, I thought Mari dancing in Zindra was funny. There, I’ve said it. Funny. I laughed. A lot. It still makes me laugh. Go Mari!
OK, I’ve aid it now – I feel better
Was not there but I doubt she meant harm no matter the manufactured fuss.
Hahaha! Yay Marianne! And Yay 70s porn for that matter! I will have to go figure out what Alphaville is…
Hardy Har Har Minnie Pearl Dale;
Smartyass. You know very well the once semi-relevant site “The Herald” / “Second Life Herald” is currently called “Alphaville Herald” (and no one knows why). The only real connection to the old site is the name (Herald part) and some items in need of update. Prok was until recently listed on the masthead and we know that is a bit dated (by years). I bet that was an interesting time to be there.
The current manny-ed is Pixleen who I’ve ran into a few times. The first time I got some sort of a “me and the Herald are very well known” in reply to my intended feigned ignorance, but she was nicer at SL6B. You can tell she wants to be a real journalist and tries hard. Can’t fault that but you can’t be news followed by Pappy Enoch. He is a site unto himself and needs to be the star since he will cancel your news ass out. Sort of like me going for that “Most Trusted News” thing asking people to ignore my habit of making shit up.
You met another and PPLLLLLLLLUP you were gone.
“Best Proof Museums Do Not Have to be Lame
The Museum of Sex Furniture in Zindra”
/me goes on a cultural museum exhibition to Zindra.
It’s interactive too which is cool.
I went there a while back. This video has some good interactive items. Skip to 2:00 since the rest of it is painfully lame. In fact, do that for all my work. Just start at the very end. You’ll find it more enjoyable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOqITSOKyIQ
Yeah, I looked up “Alphaville” after I posted that an’ was all embarassed. :) I think of it as “The Herald”, and never actually read it because it is too annoying. Pixeleen seems like a fine person, and said amusing things to me in IM after I made Prok’s FIC x.y list th’ other month, but the “newspaper” itself always seems to be either mean or incomprehensible. I think it’s intended to be humorous? Or something…
When it tries to be humorous we get the 11-2008 “One Hour Abortion Clinic” story which I (being at the lower end of the taste scale) would not touch. If I had gotten the right combination of pills and drink in me and did run it, I would of not used the same images of blood spatter and this pleasant box.
When it tries to be news we get confusion. Pixleen has gone from Fair & Balanced coverage (if you are Stroker Ace) to bitching about a EULA today with boots. I think on some level she thinks Linden should pay him off and this will no have ramifications whatsoever when in reality these fucksticks are bitching for changes everyone (but those who sell) will dislike like more verification and firm copy protection.
I am very amusing in IM form. Same with comments on other people’s blogs. It’s easy to hammer than shit out in a paragraph. The blog thing nowhere near as fun since I enjoy entering a comment thread and posting something so odd that no one wants to post after me.